You are here for a reason- machines don’t come with extra parts!

Franconia Sculpture Park, Franconia, MN (CMG original)

We watched the movie “Hugo” the other night.  I had watched it on the big screen and thoroughly enjoyed it so when we were looking for a film to add to our collection, we decided on “Hugo”.  Since I had viewed it before, I decided to multi-task and enter in some data on my computer while I watched.  There were moments in the film though that made me stop, pause and listen.  The words that were being spoken were profound and came from a higher source.

Hugo (an orphan who is abandoned by his only living relative, a drunk uncle, who’s job it was to keep the clock in the train station running) is standing on top of the clock he repairs at the train station.  He is looking out over Paris with the girl he has befriended, his only friend and states:

“I'd imagine the whole world was one big machine. Machines never come with any extra parts, you know. They always come with the exact amount they need. So I figured, if the entire world was one big machine, I couldn't be an extra part. I had to be here for some reason. And that means you have to be here for some reason, too.”

WOW!  That is it!  Our lives have meaning.  You have a purpose! 

Sometimes, it is difficult to know or see what that purpose is.  You may be in a unfulling job or a less than perfect relationship.  You feel underappreciated and overworked.  Your children may not have turned out like you expected.   All lifes little and big rocks and pits have you wondering...”why am I here?”

I have a mentor in my life and I remember saying to her in my late twenties, “I don’t know what my purpose is, what am I suppose to do with my life?”  She responded, “You ARE doing it.”  I didn’t get it.  I didn’t get it for years and still I struggle with where I am right now, wondering if I am in the place I should be.  I have plans, dreams, I want to move forward!  I realize that these are all ego-based projections.  What I need to work on is being in the present moment.   Because, whether you know it or not, what you are doing right now IS your purpose. 

The 6th limb of yoga is dharana- learning to focus the mind.  In yoga, we do this through meditation and in hatha yoga, through postures and breathing.  If we can practice staying in the present moment, letting go of time, we can then,  let go of fear which says “you don’t have a purpose” or “what IS your purpose”. 

As you move down your spiritual path, you might discover that things just happen.  You meet who you are suppose to meet.  Things line up for you in just the right way.  They may come about this way out of hardship or difficulty but things happen.  Things happen because of your choices in the present moment.  Moment to moment we can choose.  And in this moment we can choose peace.  We can choose to remain patient.  We can choose to leave a situation that is not serving us.  We can choose to stay with our breath through a difficult posture.  We can choose to practice dharana and focus on the now knowing that you have a purpose and that the world is one big machine with no extra parts!

Can you Forgive Yourself? Returning to Atman.

“As long as we think ego, we feel attached and fall into sorrow.  But realize you are the Self, the Lord of Life and you will be freed from sorrow.”  Mundka Upanishad

I had a dream the other night that I had an infant, someone gave this baby to me.  I knew that I had to care for him, that he was now mine.   I was at this big gathering carrying him around, a warm, collapsable bundle, so new that it was difficult to hold him to my chest because he had no neck control.   I was feeling  a bit awkward for it had been quite some time that I had responsibility for someone this new.  I went about chatting and mingling and then, poof, I’d look down and notice the baby was gone from my arms.  I was so into talking to the people in the room I had forgotten that I had a baby that was my sole responsibility to care for.   In a panic, I went searching the room, looking for my baby.  I thought to myself, “Oh my God, how could you forget, you idiot, you have a baby you need to care for!”  Then, in the distance, I heard crying coming from a closet.  I opened it up and there was the baby, on a shelf.  I reached in and put him in my arms once again- fully relieved and repeatedly berating myself for my forgetfulness and obvious lack of skills.

How can I interpret this?  Many ways, I suppose, but what sticks out most in my mind was the feeling of being incapable or daft when being charged with caring for this infant.  How does this currently relate to my life?  Most recently, in relation to both of my sons, one with the brittle bone disease and the other who is experiencing a lack of self-esteem and direction in his life, I have scolded myself.  I have said, “What did I do wrong?”  “What could I have done differently?”  The answer is ...NOTHING, I did the best I could.

Forgiveness, in my opinion, especially of oneself is not easy.  We have our ego to protect.  That thing, that voice that would rather die than say, “It’s ok, you can let it go.”   Deepak Chopra says, “Ego is just another word for edging God out.”  When we listen to our ego, we are not connecting with our true self, our spirit self- in yoga we call this, Atman, “spark of the divine”.  

The ego loves to separate and divide, put things into categories, define and judge.  The ego is not bad, it is what it is- that voice that berates us, makes us feel guilty and won’t let us forgive.  The true source is our only way to forgiveness.  Guilt and shame stop us on our path towards self- love.  They are the true evolution stoppers.  Forgive yourself.  You did the best you knew how to do at the time.  Forgive someone else.  They did the best they could at the time given their resources.  No one’s goal in life from infancy is to be an alcoholic, an abusive husband, a neglectful mother.  We do and try our best but sometimes our models aren’t there.  We may not have had a model for a loving, caring father so how would we know how to be one?  Forgive and you will be released towards the happiness that you seek.  

DoreenVirtue, in her oracle card guide book has a prayer that I think is a wonderful one to help assist you in forgiveness.  

“I ask that you help me let go of self-blame and forgive myself.  Please guide me in releasing any toxic anger or fear toward others.  Thank you, (God or any angels) for allowing me to feel centered and at peace.”

What will you do today to start on the path of forgiveness?